6 Reminders
Doubt and resistance are normal.
What if I'm the exception to the rule?
This is probably the most common question I hear from people beginning this work. I don't expect anyone to move through this with complete certainty. Think about all the years of conditioning we're up against such as the messages we've received that pain always means injury or damage.Change takes time, and doubt is often part of the process.
No two journeys will look identical.
When should I expect to get better?
It's natural to compare yourself to others, especially when you're trying to heal. But every person arrives with a different history, different experiences, and different needs. One person may need to explore childhood experiences or unresolved emotions, while another may make progress without going deeply into their past at all. When your belief starts to waver, come back to your evidence. Remind yourself what led you here in the first place.
The energy that gets you into pain will not be the energy that gets you out of pain.
What kind of energy helps us heal?
The energy that fuels pain is often rooted in fear, urgency, pressure, and protection. That same energy is rarely what allows the body to recover. Healing tends to happen in moments of safety, curiosity, ease, and presence. When the nervous system no longer feels like it has to stay on high alert, it can begin to settle. Learning to shift from pressure into presence creates the conditions that support healing.
Find your part in the pain.
What is an advantage to having this pain, and what do I need to let go of in order to heal?
This can be a difficult question to ask yourself. As uncomfortable as it may be, pain sometimes serves a purpose. We call this secondary gain. Pain may bring support, provide a reason to avoid something overwhelming, or distract us from larger emotional stressors. This doesn't mean the pain isn't real—it is. But understanding what role it may be playing can be an important part of healing.
Emotions and symptoms are connected, but not inseparable.
Will I have to live a completely stress-free life to heal?
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Healing does not require eliminating stress or fearful thoughts. While there is a real connection between the nervous system and symptoms, a stressful event or anxious thought does not automatically lead to pain or other symptoms. Many people begin to fear certain thoughts, treating them as triggers rather than simply thoughts. The goal is not to get rid of them, but to notice them without reacting. The more space we create between a thought and our response, the less power that thought often has.
You don't have to put your life on pause for healing - healing happens as you begin living in it more fully.
What is the opposite of fear?
It isn't always safety. Often, it's hope. Healing doesn't require fear to disappear before you move forward. It happens when you stop waiting for certainty and begin engaging with life again, even while fear is still present. Over time, these experiences teach your system that it is safe. And what often begins to soften is the belief that something is wrong with you. There isn't. The struggle comes from believing there is.